Week 6: Goooooooool

If last week was Armageddon, this week’s episode should have been called There Will Be Blood (In Barcelona). James wants to be the Bachelor, three guys got sent home and our heads just exploded. Or maybe our heads exploded because we finally got some more Drew time this week. Whatevs, here’s the recap, ya filthy animals.
Continue reading

Week 5: The Glen Cocos

Remember in Mean Girls when Regina George distributes the Burn Book at school and all the girls start fighting each other and Principal Duvall is all, “I did NOT leave the South Side for this!”?

Well, Des soooooo did not leave her teepee for this crap, either.

She dealt with a lot of shenanigans this week, so naturally we’re hankering to give these tools some awards and call them out for their poor behavior. Some weeks, the Glen Cocos just write themselves. This is one of those weeks.

Here’s how the Glen Cocos work:

tumblr_mh5v0l4Guc1rhk0ato1_500

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

Continue reading

Week 2: Power Rankings

‘Tis time for another round of Power Rankings. This episode is always one of our favorites because it’s the first time we get to see the guys after that first cocktail party. We get to start seeing the men interacting with each other and opening up about their backstories. This is when we begin to figure out who the macho men are and who the more … sensitive men are. We love it.

OK, let’s start judging them:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.

Continue reading

Week 2: Bachelorette Tell ‘Em

Disclaimer: Right before an episode of the Bachelorette starts, we sit on the couch and flail around like a fish out of water. Seriously, we’re that excited. In fact, the only thing that makes us more excited than the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad is recapping the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad. Let’s just say we’re pretty giddy to start recapping this episode, so without further ado…

Continue reading

Week 1: The Glen Cocos

tumblr_mh5v0l4Guc1rhk0ato1_500

It’s that time of the week, guys. We’ve asked some (sorta) tough questions, recapped the episode, compiled your tweets and ranked all the men. That leaves just one thing left to do before we start this whole cycle over again for Week 2 (is it Monday yet?!) … The Glen Cocos! Here’s how it works:

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit. Drum roll, please, because we’re about to get this show on the road.

Continue reading

Week 1: Des meets her prince(s)

All we can say is … it’s about dang time.

After an eternity (actually, two months) of waiting, The Bachelorette logo finally appeared on our television screen. What better way to honor America than watching a who’s who of America’s idiots and Prince Charmings compete for the affection of America’s Sweetheart? There is no better way.

We enjoyed every single second of that two-hour introduction to Desiree’s season and we’ve finally been able to stop hyperventilating with excitement long enough to write down our thoughts on the premiere.

Welcome to the first recap of Desiree’s season. Let’s get to it.
Continue reading