Week 2: The Glen Cocos

Ho ho ho ho ho! We have candy-cane-grams and awards to hand out!

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Well, actually, we have awards sans the candy-cane-grams. So, hopefully you’re not too disappointed. We may have left the candy-cane-grams with Damien, but we brought our most judgmental and witty set of jokes for this post. If you don’t think they’re that funny … well, sorry, we tried.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Awards? Glen Cocos? What the deuce is this?”, here’s the jist:

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

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Week 8: Power Rankings

This season has certainly been a good one. We started with 26 women, 80 percent of whom were either crazy, hammered, orange or all three. And now here we are — down to the final two. Even though this season has gone by much too fast, we’ve really enjoyed it. For one, the drama was crazy good. Everyone thought this season would be boring, but alas, it was filled with screaming matches, an uncontrollable eyebrow and classic underhanded moves that were once perfected by The Plastics.

While the drama kept us entertained, Sean was the reason we kept coming back. Yes, it was mostly because he is one fine-looking specimen, but it was also because he’s so genuine. Sean reminded both loyal and casual fans alike why we love this show. He’s a class act and a breath of fresh air from the usual douchey Bachelors who we end up hating by midseason. Sean went about this process the right way. He has revived The Bachelor fanbase and ABC’s ratings. Hallelujah!

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Week 7: Sean Tells All

Tuesday was no ordinary day.

Tuesday was the day Sean would be divulging his best-kept secrets to millions of women who had nothing better to do than to watch Sean divulge his best-kept secrets. Although our beloved Bachelor never made any earth-shattering revelations, he did offer plenty of interesting insights and commentary on his nationally televised journey for love. We somehow doubt Sean really told “all,” but he did tell enough to make this recap at least semi-entertaining. So, here it is: our thoughts on the Sean Tells Some Stuff But Not That Much Stuff special event.

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Week 6: Power Rankings

Devastated.

That’s how this week’s episode of The Bachelor made us feel. Horribly devastated. Sean missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime relationship with a great girl. She has a genuine heart, a kind soul and eyebrows that would make Andy Rooney from 60 Minutes jealous. We just can’t understand why Sean would send Tierra home. We simply have no words. The only thing we do know is that Sean will regret this later.

Haha, yeah right. Let’s get real and get busy ranking the women who actually deserve to still be on the show.

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Week 6: I can’t control my eyebrow!

This week’s episode was wonderful. Absolutely, splendidly wonderful. From AshLee’s unexpected revelation to Tierra’s dramatic exit, we loved every minute of what The Bachelor had to offer us on Monday. We’ve got a lot to cover this week, so let’s get busy!

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