Tuesday was the day Sean would be divulging his best-kept secrets to millions of women who had nothing better to do than to watch Sean divulge his best-kept secrets. Although our beloved Bachelor never made any earth-shattering revelations, he did offer plenty of interesting insights and commentary on his nationally televised journey for love. We somehow doubt Sean really told “all,” but he did tell enough to make this recap at least semi-entertaining. So, here it is: our thoughts on the Sean Tells Some Stuff But Not That Much Stuff special event.
Seriously, can you recall in recent memory a time when the Bachelor sent home five girls in two episodes this far into a season? The mansion’s resident count dropped from eleven to six faster than we could say, “Looks like he’s headed for the projection room above the auditorium!” I mean, we know ABC has to stick to a strict timeline here, but what just happened? It was like The Bachelor Massacre. One minute, there was a house full of crazy, dramatic women, and the next minute, there was a house full of significantly fewer crazy, dramatic women. Tragic.
Not only will we remember this week as The Bachelor Massacre, we will also remember it as the week that our Power Rankings got cut in half. ABC and Sean Lowe are really ruining the blogging magic here. Nonetheless, we move onward and present to you our truncated Week 5 Power Rankings.
Sean’s pack of drunk crazies is rapidly getting smaller, but that certainly doesn’t mean there was a shortage of drama in the house this week. We were plenty entertained on Monday as Tierra pitched a hissy fit, Sean sampled “the chocolate” and Tony and Blakeley’s trailer from Bachelor Pad made an appearance during Selma’s one-on-one date. While a few of the women made some really boneheaded moves this week, others really turned on the charm … and probably Sean, too.
So, we took the summation of the women’s actions, or lack thereof, and developed a complex algorithm that helped us to create these wonderful Power Rankings. We spent a lot of time on this, so you better ‘preciate it.
Well, this episode sure was a doozie! There were tears, medical emergencies and loads of drama … kind of like last week, only so much better! The fights are getting scrappier, the girls are getting crazier and Tierra’s wonky eyebrow seems to be getting wonkier. That being said though, some real connections are starting to form, which means Sean’s decisions are only getting tougher. We have a lot to get to this week, so let’s get busy! Continue reading →