Whatever the Heck We Want: The Bachelor Time Machine

In case you haven’t noticed, we really like things that are funny here at Bachelor Burn Book headquarters. Funny movies, funny TV shows, funny one-liners, we like ’em all. We would rather laugh than cry ANY DAY … unless of course, we’re crying from laughing, in which case we would pick crying over laughing and now we’re confused.

Anyway, we were laughing so hard during Andi and Kelly’s impression of Clare during this week’s episode. We didn’t cry, but we just laughed really, really hard. All that laughing got us thinking … what if Andi and Kelly were on every other Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad season? What if, for every awesome, hilarious, ridiculous moment in this show’s history, they were there, badly impersonating the contestants on this show? How awesome would that be?

The answer? Pretty dang awesome. While we can’t actually put them in a time machine and send them back to seasons past, we can make a top five list of moments we’d like them to impersonate, so that, if by some miracle of God, time machines ever do get invented, we wouldn’t have to waste time coming up with possible destinations. See? We plan ahead here at Bachelor Burn Book. (And if any of you happen to invent a time machine, you better call us first. Comprende?)

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Week 7: Burning Questions

Well, it’s Fantasy Suite time! Usually, this week is pretty cut and dry: a really long daytime date is followed by another dinner during which no one eats and, for dessert, the couple receives an awkwardly-worded letter informing them that, should they decide to take their relationship to the next level, they have a room waiting for them at this fancy hotel. Usually, the female accepts in a roundabout way because she doesn’t want the entire country to know that she’s willing to sleep with a guy after spending like two weeks with him. But this week, the Fantasy Suite dates have a new twist, which presents us with a lot of questions. Here’s what we’re hoping, nay, PRAYING, gets answered this week:

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