Week 6: Power Rankings

We’re planning a revolt. A mutiny is imminent. Des is out of control.

Who does she think she is eliminating three guys at once this far into the season? She can’t just do that. There are rules. Who gave her all the power? Can somebody put a call in to Chris Harrison so we can restore order to this mess of a situation? Geesh, can somebody pull the reins in on her? Next thing you know, she’ll be sprinting to the altar faster than Damian was running to the projection room above the auditorium with Cady’s purse. Slow your roll, Des. We can’t rank all your boyfriends if there aren’t any left.

Obligatory Power Rankings explanation:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.

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Week 3: You threw rocks at my face!

Chris Harrison, you are a man with many tricks up the sleeve of your Chris Harrison Collection shirt.

And apparently, this was the week that he decided to unload all of those tricks. First, he reveals that there will be two group dates and only one one-on-one date. Then, he launches his own investigation into Brian’s shady past and storms into the mansion with some woman who is both angry and Brian’s girlfriend. Then, after that, he surprises us all with the announcement that a daytime pool party will be replacing the usual cocktail party. This episode was anarchy. All the rules were broken. We had to watch the episode twice just to make sense of it all. We’re still trying to wrap our minds around that whole pool party instead of cocktail party thing, but for the most part, we’ve figured it all out and we’re ready to break it down for ya:

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Week 2: Power Rankings

‘Tis time for another round of Power Rankings. This episode is always one of our favorites because it’s the first time we get to see the guys after that first cocktail party. We get to start seeing the men interacting with each other and opening up about their backstories. This is when we begin to figure out who the macho men are and who the more … sensitive men are. We love it.

OK, let’s start judging them:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.

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Week 2: Burning Questions

It’s #BacheloretteMonday (that was for you, Hashtag Guy)! And today, on this fine day, we woke up (early) with a range of emotions. The first was excitement because, well, it’s Bachelorette Monday. Duh. The second was anger because the air conditioning in one of our cars is currently not functioning, but that’s another story for another day. The third was curiosity (wait, is that even an emotion?). As usual, we’re always wondering what shenanigans we’ll see on the next episode of The Bachelorette, which is why we have so many questions. So, here’s our next set of queries for you — and, of course, our picks for the Hot Seat.

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Week 1: Power Rankings

The journey has begun! After months of anxious waiting, Des’ quest for love has finally begun and, well, let’s just say The Bachelorette producers gave her quite the selection of suitors. This is a rag-tag team of men. Some could very well be Des’ Mr. Right. Most of them, though, are well … not. We understand that it must be overwhelming to sort through 25 guys and figure out who is your best match, so we’re going to help.

Have we met Des? No. Do we have any idea of her “type?” No. Is that going to stop us from ranking all of the men every week? Heck no. If you’re new here, here’s how the Power Rankings work:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.
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