Week 9: Power Rankings

Welcome, Bachelorette enthusiasts, to the final installment of Power Rankings for this season! If you found yourself clicking on the link to this post and thinking, “What in the hell? How they ‘posed to rank these guys? Des ain’t even like none of ’em.”, you’re in good company. We thought the same thing and we’re the ones writing this post.

So, as you might’ve guessed, the whole “I love Brooks and don’t even want to think about/look at/talk to/go on dates with the other guys” thing that Des said on Monday presents a bit of a problem for us. Des has two guys left, and she likes approximately zero of them. Fantastic.

Hopefully, we haven’t managed to talk you out of reading this. If we did … well, shit. For those of you who are still sticking around, we promise we’ll have something interesting to say, despite, well, you know … lookin’ at you, DES.

Alright, off we go.

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Week 3: Power Rankings

It’s Thursday. That means it’s time for a new set of Power Rankings. The concept is really simple — we make up the order in our heads and say whatever we want. If you’re still a tad confused, here’s a more in-depth explanation:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.

Happy reading!

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Week 3: You threw rocks at my face!

Chris Harrison, you are a man with many tricks up the sleeve of your Chris Harrison Collection shirt.

And apparently, this was the week that he decided to unload all of those tricks. First, he reveals that there will be two group dates and only one one-on-one date. Then, he launches his own investigation into Brian’s shady past and storms into the mansion with some woman who is both angry and Brian’s girlfriend. Then, after that, he surprises us all with the announcement that a daytime pool party will be replacing the usual cocktail party. This episode was anarchy. All the rules were broken. We had to watch the episode twice just to make sense of it all. We’re still trying to wrap our minds around that whole pool party instead of cocktail party thing, but for the most part, we’ve figured it all out and we’re ready to break it down for ya:

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