Week 2: Life is all about straddling people

The second week of every Bachelor season is always one of our favorites because it reminds us of the show’s true meaning. During the premiere, it can be so easy to lose sight of this. But now that the first cocktail party is over and all of the sexual predators (ahem, Amy J.) have been weeded out, we can now focus on what this show is really about—over-the-top dates, crying in public restrooms, getting white girl wasted, making friends and, of course, not being there for the right reasons.

We, however, are here for the right reasons—to be judge-y. So let’s start judging.

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Preseason Power Rankings

We’re baaaaaaaack! You know what that means?! It’s the most Juanderful time of year again!

The Bachelor is back! Juanuary is here! Two hours of Juan Pablo every Monday! Lots of wine consumption! So much excitement! And what better way to kick off this glorious season than with our preseason power rankings?! Yes, that’s right. We have combed through all 27 bios, made our initial superficial judgments and ranked the women from least crazy to super crazy. Enjoy!

P.S. If you would like to read (and laugh at) the women’s full bios, click here.

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Week 3: Power Rankings

It’s Thursday. That means it’s time for a new set of Power Rankings. The concept is really simple — we make up the order in our heads and say whatever we want. If you’re still a tad confused, here’s a more in-depth explanation:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.

Happy reading!

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