Men Tell All: The Glen Cocos

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Glen Coco

OK, so it’s actually not, but if we were doing a Top 10 list of best television events in a year, Men Tell All would definitely be up there. Where else can we see a bunch of dudes reunite and engage in petty cat fights? Nowhere, that’s where. Some of the guys really brought the drama during this year’s Men Tell All installment, so we decided to give them props. For those of you who are new around here (you know, like Cady was), here’s how the Glen Cocos work:

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

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Men Tell All: Juan Pablo, judge-y looks and more Juan Pablo

OK, we have to admit … the Men Tell All show is like, our favorite episode of every season. We always look forward to it, and we love watching it. But not for the reasons you might think. Yes, we love seeing the contestants rehash all the drama, and we like seeing the Bachelorette confront the guys who were there to promote their business ventures and become famous and all that nonsense. But none of that is as entertaining as watching the audience’s reactions to what is unfolding before them. There is nothing better! If we didn’t get to see 85 different camera shots of these women making the judge-iest faces ever, what would be the point of this show?! That’s right. There would be no point.

The same goes for our recap. What would be the point of this stupid thing if we didn’t include these women and their reactions? So, of course, we will. And they were on point last night. If you’ve never really paid much attention to these women, prepare yourself. Because you are in for a real treat. So, without further ado, we present to you our Men Tell All recap (featuring the most judgmental women the producers could find):

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Men Tell All: Burning Questions

It’s Men Tell All time! Yay! This is always such a good episode because everyone is on their absolute worst behavior. Actually, watching the Men Tell All episode kind of reminds us of being home in Africa (we don’t really live in Africa). The guys settle things like they live in animal world.

Here’s to hoping for complete anarchy tonight. In the meantime, here’s what we’re wondering about heading into the drama-fest.

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Week 6: Burning Questions

There are many crimes that one can be accused of in Bachelorette World. Some are serious, and others are very serious. When a Bachelorette contestant is accused of one of these crimes, he must go before Chris Harrison, the judge, the jury and the executioner in Bachelorette World (Des may think she has all the power, but let’s be real. We all know Chris Harrison is the one in charge here.). If a contestant finds himself in Bachelorette court, he may be charged with one or more of the following crimes:

  • Not being there to make friends
  • Going on the show to gain fame (both on Twitter and in real life)
  • Promoting one’s business ventures
  • Being an arrogant jerk
  • Being a drama-starter
  • Repeatedly claiming to be a “grown ass man”
  • Having a secret girlfriend back home
  • … And stuff like that

But there is one crime in particular that is more heinous than all the rest: faking your way through the show in order to become the next Bachelor. 😮

That is, indeed, the worst crime of them all, and it appears that James is charged with said crime this evening. So, is James a liar? Is he deceiving Des and all of Bachelor Nation? Will he have to face the wrath of Judge Chris Harrison? We ponder this and other super important stuff in the latest Burning Questions.

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Week 5: The Glen Cocos

Remember in Mean Girls when Regina George distributes the Burn Book at school and all the girls start fighting each other and Principal Duvall is all, “I did NOT leave the South Side for this!”?

Well, Des soooooo did not leave her teepee for this crap, either.

She dealt with a lot of shenanigans this week, so naturally we’re hankering to give these tools some awards and call them out for their poor behavior. Some weeks, the Glen Cocos just write themselves. This is one of those weeks.

Here’s how the Glen Cocos work:

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Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

Continue reading

Week 5: Power Rankings

Three got their heads chopped off this week, and now only eight remain. A few of them are nice, some are cute, most are frat boy meatheads and pretty much all of them are crazy.

Aaand, these are the times when we’re glad we’re just doing the ranking and not the rose-doling.

Speaking of ranking, here’s the obligatory explanation of how the Power Rankings work:

Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the men based on their interactions with each other and with Desiree. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Des views each of her suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the men at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.

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Week 5: Tweet Roundup

This gallery contains 28 photos.

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelorette-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 25 contestants who are vying for … Continue reading