Week 2: Burning Questions

Aaaaaand they’re off! The first cocktail party is over, Juan Pablo has met all of his women (and forgotten half), the wine is flowing (both at our house and at the Bachelor Mansion), the driveway has been hosed down (only at the Bachelor Mansion, not at our house), the girls are (still) attempting to speak Spanish (which is more like Spanglish), and the first round of dates is set to begin!

With another episode of drama, debauchery and general nonsense upon us, we, here at Bachelor Burn Book headquarters, have a lot of questions. Most of them have to do with Lucy, but those are questions we will likely never get the answers to. So, here are some legitimate (ish) questions we came up with instead:

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Men Tell All: Juan Pablo, judge-y looks and more Juan Pablo

OK, we have to admit … the Men Tell All show is like, our favorite episode of every season. We always look forward to it, and we love watching it. But not for the reasons you might think. Yes, we love seeing the contestants rehash all the drama, and we like seeing the Bachelorette confront the guys who were there to promote their business ventures and become famous and all that nonsense. But none of that is as entertaining as watching the audience’s reactions to what is unfolding before them. There is nothing better! If we didn’t get to see 85 different camera shots of these women making the judge-iest faces ever, what would be the point of this show?! That’s right. There would be no point.

The same goes for our recap. What would be the point of this stupid thing if we didn’t include these women and their reactions? So, of course, we will. And they were on point last night. If you’ve never really paid much attention to these women, prepare yourself. Because you are in for a real treat. So, without further ado, we present to you our Men Tell All recap (featuring the most judgmental women the producers could find):

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Men Tell All: Burning Questions

It’s Men Tell All time! Yay! This is always such a good episode because everyone is on their absolute worst behavior. Actually, watching the Men Tell All episode kind of reminds us of being home in Africa (we don’t really live in Africa). The guys settle things like they live in animal world.

Here’s to hoping for complete anarchy tonight. In the meantime, here’s what we’re wondering about heading into the drama-fest.

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Week 2: Burning Questions

It’s #BacheloretteMonday (that was for you, Hashtag Guy)! And today, on this fine day, we woke up (early) with a range of emotions. The first was excitement because, well, it’s Bachelorette Monday. Duh. The second was anger because the air conditioning in one of our cars is currently not functioning, but that’s another story for another day. The third was curiosity (wait, is that even an emotion?). As usual, we’re always wondering what shenanigans we’ll see on the next episode of The Bachelorette, which is why we have so many questions. So, here’s our next set of queries for you — and, of course, our picks for the Hot Seat.

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