Week 4: Seoul-sucking drama in South Korea

The best part of the season is here!

The drama is heightening! The cattiness is starting! The claws are starting to come out! People’s eyes are getting scratched out! It’s gettin’ scrappy! Someone’s gonna have to hold someone else’s errings!

What could be better?! …Nothing, that’s what—well, except our recap breaking it all down:

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Week 4: Burning Questions

Whew. We are all tuckered out from Sean and Catherine’s wedding!

With all the talk about grown sexy, the Honeymoon Suite Cam and more grown sexy, we need a break from this show for like, a hot second. We’re tired, mildly hungover and now frantically worrying if we will ever find a husband as perfect as Sean Lowe. It’s mentally exhausting. But ABC demands a lot of Bachelor Nation, so we gotta get focused and get ready for tonight’s episode of The Bachelor instead.

So, since all of you, like us, are probably spending today worrying whether you’ll ever find a husband like Sean Lowe, we’re here to help you take your mind off that for a few hours. Rather than freaking out over your love life, ponder over our Week 4 Burning Questions instead—because, honestly, we all know what’s more important here … The Bachelor, duh. You’ll figure out the whole marriage thing eventually.

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Week 1: Tweet Roundup

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 27 contestants who are vying for love. But who has time to comb every inch of the web for the wittiest comments? We do. Here they are, in one neat little package.

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Week 8: I was half a virgin when I met you!

It’s fantasy suite date time!

What’s our fantasy? Not having to write an introduction for this recap, so we didn’t. Let’s get busy.

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Week 7: Don’t go breaking my Hart

It’s getting difficult in Bachelor world, y’all. Hometown dates are make or break and this season was no exception. We have a lot to digest from this week’s episode, so let’s get to it.

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Week 3: Power Rankings

Get excited! It’s time for another round of the Bachelor Burn Book Power Rankings!

Week three of Sean’s reign as the Bachelor wasn’t the most exhilarating two hours of television we’ve ever watched, but it was certainly very telling. For one, we learned that Kacie B. is a firm believer in self-sabotage. We also found out that Lindsay isn’t all that bad and … well, Tierra is. Finally, we were able to confirm through our very reliable and top secret sources that Kristy likes to have big hair so she can, in fact, fill it with secrets. So, why are these little nuggets of wisdom important? Because without them, we wouldn’t be able to form the superficial and premature judgments that make up these awesome power rankings!

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Week 2: Power Rankings

Welcome back to the Bachelor Burn Book Power Rankings!

Another episode of The Bachelor has come and gone, and week two was filled with your stereotypical Bachelor staples: helicopter rides, plunges from tall buildings, awkward makeouts and snarky comments. Nonetheless, we thoroughly enjoyed it in all its glory, especially the part when Tierra exclaimed, “I’m not here to make friends.” How original of her!

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