Men Tell All: Juan Pablo, judge-y looks and more Juan Pablo

OK, we have to admit … the Men Tell All show is like, our favorite episode of every season. We always look forward to it, and we love watching it. But not for the reasons you might think. Yes, we love seeing the contestants rehash all the drama, and we like seeing the Bachelorette confront the guys who were there to promote their business ventures and become famous and all that nonsense. But none of that is as entertaining as watching the audience’s reactions to what is unfolding before them. There is nothing better! If we didn’t get to see 85 different camera shots of these women making the judge-iest faces ever, what would be the point of this show?! That’s right. There would be no point.

The same goes for our recap. What would be the point of this stupid thing if we didn’t include these women and their reactions? So, of course, we will. And they were on point last night. If you’ve never really paid much attention to these women, prepare yourself. Because you are in for a real treat. So, without further ado, we present to you our Men Tell All recap (featuring the most judgmental women the producers could find):

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Week 5: Power Rankings

Heads were rolling this week on The Bachelor.

Seriously, can you recall in recent memory a time when the Bachelor sent home five girls in two episodes this far into a season? The mansion’s resident count dropped from eleven to six faster than we could say, “Looks like he’s headed for the projection room above the auditorium!” I mean, we know ABC has to stick to a strict timeline here, but what just happened? It was like The Bachelor Massacre. One minute, there was a house full of crazy, dramatic women, and the next minute, there was a house full of significantly fewer crazy, dramatic women. Tragic.

Not only will we remember this week as The Bachelor Massacre, we will also remember it as the week that our Power Rankings got cut in half. ABC and Sean Lowe are really ruining the blogging magic here. Nonetheless, we move onward and present to you our truncated Week 5 Power Rankings.

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