Finale: Tweet Roundup

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What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 26 contestants who are vying for … Continue reading

The Finale: After the Final Rose

We can’t believe this season is already over. It went by so fast, and now, we have absolutely nothing to do on Monday nights. How terribly depressing. On a lighter note though, we want to thank you all for making Bachelor Burn Book such a success in our first season. We honestly thought we’d have like 20 blog views and 10 Twitter followers, half of whom would probably be spam bots. So, truly, thank you for reading along and tweeting with us. We hope you’ll stick around. Anyway, let’s get to the good stuff.

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Finale recap: I get all of this?!

Oh, Sean. We hardly knew ye as the Bachelor. These seasons just whiz by so fast. They say time flies when you’re having fun, but it also flies when you’re watching some delectable beefcake take his shirt off on the regs. We’ll miss Sean’s beefy arms and pecs … for about six days. Then we’ll see them on Dancing with the Stars and all will be right in the world again. But forget mirror ball trophies and televised weddings … we’ve got a finale to recap. Without further ado, here is our final recap of the greatest Bachelor season of them all. Continue reading

Burning Questions: The Finale

It’s that time, y’all. Sean’s picking one lucky lady to spend eternity with…or so we hope. There are no guarantees in Bachelor world, but we sure hope that this is real true love. Until then, we have a few questions we hope get answered tonight.

1. Who is the letter from?

This question was basically spoon-fed to us via the 1,534 promos this season. Does Catherine write the letter? Lindsay? Sean’s mom? Maybe it’s an eleventh hour Hail Mary from Des? We’ve been teased with this darn letter for weeks now and chances are, none of the aforementioned people have written it. It’s probably written by Chris Harrison and includes some stellar advice like “Get this right.” Whatever it is, though, it brings Sean to tears. Real men cry, y’all.

2. Does Mrs. Lowe accept the idea of her son finding love on television?

We love a man that loves his mama, and it’s clear that Sean loves and respects Mama Lowe. We can’t blame her for being a wee bit skeptical about Sean meeting someone handpicked by producers, especially given the track record of the show. She’s being protective and we get that. However, we hope that she can eventually give Sean and his betrothed the crucial stamp of approval this episode. Believe in true love, Mrs. Lowe! Don’t doubt Chris Harrison’s matchmaking abilities!

3. Who is the next Bachelorette? 

We know, we know. We’ve barely put this season to bed (because Sean Lowe sure didn’t bed anyone! That was a virgin Bachelor joke. Nobody? Nobody? We’re hearing crickets, so we’ll move on), and we’ve already got our sights set on this summer’s season. If it’s anyone but Des, we’ll probably start flipping some tables (unless it’s Lesley. She’d be the greatest Bachelorette of all time). If it’s Lindsay or Catherine, we are going to lose it. But either way, we’ll be watching next season, and bringing you more burning questions. Thanks for reading this season. It’s been real.

The Hot Seat

Every week, we’ll pick one or two ladies who we think are in danger of getting sent home the following episode. Whether it’s because they’re causing tension in the mansion, had a night of drunken woopsies or just simply aren’t connecting with Sean, these ladies could find themselves in the Bachelor Burn Book Hot Seat … a place that would make even Regina George feel threatened.

Lindsay, come on down. We hate to break it to ya, but Catherine and Sean’s relationship just seems deeper and more solid than yours. Sure, you laugh a lot and you spend more time making out and talking, but Catherine and Sean just connect on a deeper level. Best of luck finding Lindsay. Also, best of luck finding a solid teaching job. It’s hard out here for a substitute teacher.

Want more Bachelor Burn Book? Follow us on Twitter @bachelorburnbk. We live tweet during every episode and offer our insights throughout the week on all things Bachelor-related.

Women Tell All: Burning Questions

The catfights! The heartbreak! The Eyebrow! We truly hope that all of this–and much more–is included in this season’s Women Tell All. We hope Tierra is still evil. We hope Lesley is still hilarious. We hope Daniella is still drunk. We also hope that we get these Burning Questions answered.

1. Will AshLee speak to Sean?

Or will she just stare? We’ve mentioned in our Power Rankings that we empathize with AshLee, but we still hope that she has collected her thoughts enough to actually talk to Sean and try to get some closure from this whole experience. The eliminations of Des and AshLee were heartbreaking for different reasons, but at least Des said her piece and can (hopefully) move on. We hope AshLee can do the same at Women Tell All.

2. Who the heck would marry Tierra?

Can we meet this guy? Is he a martian? Does he have no female friends that Tierra must associate with? Does he also have an uncontrollable eyebrow? We’re not sure what creature would marry Tierra, but we hope that they are very happy together. We would love to see Chris Harrison bring this guy out on stage and see what, exactly, he sees in Tierra that the rest of America didn’t get to see. But, alas, we fear that this is but an empty dream. This guy probably wants to stay on the DL until Tierra’s Bachelor drama blows over.

3. Is this the week Chris Harrison earns his paycheck?

Chris Harrison has one of the cushiest jobs in all of television. He jets around the country, organizes the picture room (no, just kidding, Elan probably does that) and gives awful advice that doesn’t really help anyone. That is, until Women Tell All. He has to manage 26 women talking at once, make at least two of them cry and then protect the Bachelor from all of the rejected contestants in case they decide to stage a mutiny, like the one at the water fountain at the mall. He’s basically the ringmaster of the Ringling Bros. circus only there are no animals, only women. This sounds like no fun, unless of course, you’re Chris Harrison. Because Chris Harrison is such a little skeeze.

The Hot Seat

Every week, we’ll pick one or two ladies who we think are in danger of getting sent home the following episode. Whether it’s because they’re causing tension in the mansion, had a night of drunken woopsies or just simply aren’t connecting with Sean, these ladies could find themselves in the Bachelor Burn Book Hot Seat … a place that would make even Regina George feel threatened.

There is no Hot Seat this week because this isn’t a real episode. It’s a filler episode where they get us really excited for the finale, feed us mere tidbits of updates about our favorite former contestants and we all watch anyways. We’re not complaining. We’re stating a fact. We love everything about the Bachelor and if they wanted to just show an hour of Sean showering, we’d be totally OK with that, DVR it, and watch it over and over again. Oh, wait, Millsy already pitched that? Never mind.

But you know what, just for the sake of it, we’ll put Tierra in the Hot Seat. At this point, we’re considering naming it the Hot Seat sponsored by Tierra’s Eyebrow.

Want more Bachelor Burn Book? Follow us on Twitter @bachelorburnbk. We live tweet during every episode and offer our insights throughout the week on all things Bachelor-related, except for this week ’cause we drunk.

Week 8: Power Rankings

This season has certainly been a good one. We started with 26 women, 80 percent of whom were either crazy, hammered, orange or all three. And now here we are — down to the final two. Even though this season has gone by much too fast, we’ve really enjoyed it. For one, the drama was crazy good. Everyone thought this season would be boring, but alas, it was filled with screaming matches, an uncontrollable eyebrow and classic underhanded moves that were once perfected by The Plastics.

While the drama kept us entertained, Sean was the reason we kept coming back. Yes, it was mostly because he is one fine-looking specimen, but it was also because he’s so genuine. Sean reminded both loyal and casual fans alike why we love this show. He’s a class act and a breath of fresh air from the usual douchey Bachelors who we end up hating by midseason. Sean went about this process the right way. He has revived The Bachelor fanbase and ABC’s ratings. Hallelujah!

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Week 8: Tweet Roundup

This gallery contains 31 photos.

What’s the difference between a regular old reality show and a national phenomenon? Twitter traffic, of course. No Monday night Bachelor-viewing session is complete without perusing Twitter for instant analysis and opinions of the 26 contestants who are vying for … Continue reading

Week 8: I was half a virgin when I met you!

It’s fantasy suite date time!

What’s our fantasy? Not having to write an introduction for this recap, so we didn’t. Let’s get busy.

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Week 7: Burning Questions

Well, it’s Fantasy Suite time! Usually, this week is pretty cut and dry: a really long daytime date is followed by another dinner during which no one eats and, for dessert, the couple receives an awkwardly-worded letter informing them that, should they decide to take their relationship to the next level, they have a room waiting for them at this fancy hotel. Usually, the female accepts in a roundabout way because she doesn’t want the entire country to know that she’s willing to sleep with a guy after spending like two weeks with him. But this week, the Fantasy Suite dates have a new twist, which presents us with a lot of questions. Here’s what we’re hoping, nay, PRAYING, gets answered this week:

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Week 7: Power Rankings

And then there were three.

Can you believe how fast this season has gone?! It feels like only a week or two ago we were ranking Kristy, the fame-hungry Tyra Banks wannabe, and Amanda, the voodoo-practicing, black lipstick-wearing girl who busted her face at the roller derby rink. It all happened so fast. They were all there, and then they weren’t. Now, here we are writing about the final three: AshLee, Catherine and Lindsay.

Hometown dates are arguably the most important week of the entire Bachelor season. No one wants to have crazy in-laws. No one wants to get stuck with a bunch of yo-yos, even if it is for the duration of a brief Bachelor relationship. As with every season, this was the make-or-break week for the ladies. So, where do we think the remaining girls stand in Sean’s mind after introducing their families? Read on, and you shall learn.

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