The Finale: The Glen Cocos

Well, readers, this is it.

It’s the final edition of the Glen Cocos (and the final regularly scheduled post) of this season. But fear not, because something as silly as a hiatus isn’t going to slow us down. We’ve got some cool stuff planned for the break and we hope you’ll keep reading along as we prepare ourselves for Juan Pablo’s season. Until then, though, we’ve got one more batch of Glen Cocos to hand out. If you’ve just joined us (Jambo! Better late than never!), here’s how they work:

Glen Coco

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

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Week 9: The Glen Cocos

Well, Chris Harrison DID promise us some drama this season and man, did he deliver.

This week’s episode was devastating. Heartbreaking. Emotionally draining. Basically, every word you could ever use to describe what you feel when your heart gets stomped into a million teeny tiny little pieces. Poor Des. Poor everybody.

We feel for Des. Really, we do. We’ll wear all black in mourning of her failed relationship with Brooks. However, the show must go on. And since our Friday show is The Glen Cocos, well, here they are.

Glen Coco

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

Continue reading

Men Tell All: The Glen Cocos

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Glen Coco

OK, so it’s actually not, but if we were doing a Top 10 list of best television events in a year, Men Tell All would definitely be up there. Where else can we see a bunch of dudes reunite and engage in petty cat fights? Nowhere, that’s where. Some of the guys really brought the drama during this year’s Men Tell All installment, so we decided to give them props. For those of you who are new around here (you know, like Cady was), here’s how the Glen Cocos work:

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

Continue reading

Week 8: The Glen Cocos

Wait, what’s this? Are the Glen Cocos actually up on a Friday?

Yes, they are. We promised y’all we’d do better and we keep our promises. You see, we might go rogue sometimes, but we always right the ship. We wish we could say the same for Des, who has clearly lost it, considering she is insisting on telling everyone, their mother and Chris Harrison that she’s gaga for Brooks. STICK TO THE SCHEDULE, DES. You aren’t supposed to reveal what’s in your heart for another three weeks! We’re pretty bummed that Des has gone rogue and so we have this to say to her: NO CANDY GRAMS FOR YOU, DES. Not one, not two, not three and CERTAINLY not four.

Glen CocoGlen Coco would never spoil his own season. Never.

Anyways, Des might have revealed who has won her heart, but there’s no way she can spoil these awards because we make them up as we go along. If you’re new here, here’s how the Glen Cocos work:

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

Continue reading

Week 7: The Glen Cocos

Soooooooo…

We dropped the ball — again.

We’re late on The Glen Cocos — again. We totes understand if you never forgive us. Seriously, being late on the Glen Cocos? That’s worse than when Cady skipped Janis’ art show and decided to throw a party while her parents were out of town instead! We’ll do better next time, but sometimes sh*t happens. Anyways, here’s the drill:

Glen Coco

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

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Week 6: The Glen Cocos

So you know that old Daryle Singletary song “I Ain’t Never Had Too Much Fun”?.

Well, it’s a lie. You can have too much fun. We know this, because that’s exactly what happened on the Fourth of July. We had too much fun and couldn’t pull ourselves out of the depths of our hangovers long enough to write the Glen Cocos and get them up on Friday like good little bloggers. This one’s on us, guys. We wouldn’t give us candy grams either.

Glen Coco

So when we weren’t figuring out what to put on our tombstones when we inevitably succumbed from our excessive celebrating on America’s Birthday, we were trying to figure out how to make it up to you. We’ve decided on this. Not only are we going to give you the typical Glen Cocos, you’ll be able to find a nice little piece of advice from the Bachelor Burn Book think tank at the bottom of this post. It’s the best we could do, y’all.

Here’s a refresher on the Glen Cocos:

Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

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Week 5: The Glen Cocos

Remember in Mean Girls when Regina George distributes the Burn Book at school and all the girls start fighting each other and Principal Duvall is all, “I did NOT leave the South Side for this!”?

Well, Des soooooo did not leave her teepee for this crap, either.

She dealt with a lot of shenanigans this week, so naturally we’re hankering to give these tools some awards and call them out for their poor behavior. Some weeks, the Glen Cocos just write themselves. This is one of those weeks.

Here’s how the Glen Cocos work:

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Basically, The Glen Cocos are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.

Continue reading