Week 9: Burning Questions

This is it. The time is here. The most shocking, dramatic episode EVER is coming TONIGHT. At first, we didn’t believe our boy Chris Harrison was telling the truth because, well, he always says that. He insisted that the finale of Sean’s season was going to be the most dramatic ever, but then we watched it … and dramatic it was not. Catherine wrote Sean a love note, he proposed, they took a ride on an elephant and the rest is history. Like, helloooo?! Chris, that is so not dramatic! But this episode … we’ve got a feeling about this one. We were, once again, going to write off Chris Harrison’s infamous claim, but then … we saw that preview. And we were all like, “Umm, I don’t think he’s joking this time, dude.” So, now, we’re super pumped. We’ve been building this episode up in our minds ALL WEEK. What’s going to happen?! Why does everyone feel the need to cry ALL THE TIME? Is it really going to be dramatic, or are we in for another letdown? These are the things we wonder. Oh, and these three things too:

1. Will Des forgo the fantasy suites?

This is always a big question every season. How is the Bachelor/Bachelorette going to handle the fantasy suite dates? Back in the day, it was never an issue. All three men/women would chuck their individual room key out the window like it was a ticking time bomb and accept the fantasy suite key quicker than you could say, “Looks like he’s headed for the projection room above the auditorium!” But apparently, everyone now feels the need to pretend like they’re facing a moral conundrum. We ain’t buyin’ it, but nonetheless, there are now three different ways that the fantasy suite situation could play out:

  1. The contestant and the Bachelor/Bachelorette reject the fantasy suite entirely because they don’t want millions of people to judge them and call them a slut. (Too late. We’re already judging you.)
  2. The contestant and the Bachelor/Bachelorette accept the fantasy suite key but say they’re using the time to talk and gossip and braid each other’s hair and get to know each other better. (Pshh, yeah right. We all know what “get to know each other better” really means.)
  3. The contestant and the Bachelor/Bachelorette accept the fantasy suite and use it for its intended purpose. (In which case, we are still totally judging you.)

So, which option will Des end up choosing? Will it be the same choice for all three guys? Personally, we think she chooses option C for Drew (because he’s hot) and Brooks (because, well, duh). Poor Chris is going to get shafted though. It’s option B for him … except they’ll be writing poetry instead of braiding each other’s hair. Laaaaame.

2. Will Brooks take himself out of the competition?

This is the one question we have been dying to know the answer to for like, three weeks now. He is clearly not into Des as much as Des is into him. He’s been sticking around for the time being, but is this the week that he takes his ball and goes home? We think yes. In the preview, as Des was crying, she blabbered something like, “I always love the wrong people.” OK, let’s think about this. Who is the one person she’s already admitted that she’s in love with? Brooks. She also said, “I just want to go home.” Who’s the one guy who could actually break her heart and make her want to quit the show? Brooks. See where we’re going here? Brooks does something baaaad. Very bad … like tell Des he doesn’t love her and he’s going home. What else would make Des so heartbroken? Can you picture Des getting this upset over Chris or Drew? Because we can’t.

3. What is Drew and Des’ conversation about?

You all remember that part of the preview, right? It went something like this:

Drew: “It’s just not going to work out.”

Des: *crying* “WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY LOVE ME? AM I DESTINED TO BE A SPINSTER FOREVER?!”

So, what’s all this nonsense about? Is it what it appears to be, or is it something … more? At face value, it seems like Drew is telling Des that it’s not going to work out between the two of them. But then that would mean that Drew dumps Des, and we just cannot see that happening. So, everyone, put your thinking caps on. Who, oh who, could he ever be talking about…?

Ooh, we know! We know! Brooks! Now, of course, this is just a theory, but it sounds like a pretty good one to us. What if Drew catches wind of the Brooks drama and decides to offer his opinion on the situation to Des? We have a feeling we’re right about this one. You just wait.

The Hot Seat

Every week, we’ll pick one or two dudes who we think are in danger of getting sent home the following episode. Whether it’s because they’re causing tension in the mansion, had a night of drunken woopsies or just simply aren’t connecting with Des, these men could find themselves in the Bachelor Burn Book Hot Seat … a place that would make even Regina George feel threatened.

1. Brooks

Brooks

This is kind of a weird situation this week because Brooks really shouldn’t be in the Hot Seat. In fact, this is the last guy that Des would want to see in the Hot Seat. But with him wavering so much lately, we have a sneaking suspicion that he ends up sending himself home this week. So, if he wants to put the fire under his bum, then by all means…

Sorry, Des. We know this isn’t what you wanted.

Want more Bachelor Burn Book? Follow us on Twitter @bachelorburnbk. We live tweet during every episode and offer our insights throughout the week on all things Bachelor-related.

Images on this blog are the property of ABC or their respectful owners.

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