OK, so last season, we had the Party Fouls in this space. If you don’t remember the Party Fouls segment, we aren’t surprised, because approximately eight people read them, including us. We decided that we needed a new segment. Hence, the Glen Cocos.
So, what are the Glen Cocos? Basically, they are a rotating awards system. We’ll make up a bunch of random awards and hand them out to people each week. Some will be serious. Most of them will (hopefully) be funny. In your mind’s eye, picture them being handed out by Chris Harrison dressed in a Santa suit.
So, without further ado, the Glen Cocos, everybody.
The Nature Calls Award
This one goes to Jack, who marked his territory during a night of drunken shenanigans in the Bachelor mansion. He relieved himself in some poor guy’s bed. Alas, his punishment didn’t include sleeping with the fishes, but it did involve sleeping outside. Hold it next time, Jack.
The Drunkest of All Time, Forever Award
This award will be handed out once and only once. It will be given and then retired forever, because no one (and we mean NO ONE) can top Ed’s performance on Bachelor Pad. It was brash. It was foul. It was drunken to the extreme. We’re thrilled we got to see it again during the blooper episode. It’s just another reason why the delay of the Pad will be a dark spot on ABC’s history, but that’s another story for another day.
The We Should Have Seen This Coming Award
Our first thought when we saw that dog pee on Ashley and Ben’s lantern was, “Welp. That’s pretty indicative of how that relationship turned out.” The dog peed on the lantern and then Ashley stomped on Ben’s heart.
The Best (Worst?) Poker Face Award
Oh, Ali. We had forgotten the level of torture she had endured during her search for Mr. Right. She had to deal with Justin, Kasey, Kirk’s dad AND that dude who confused her with someone else. We can only imagine how difficult it was for her to keep a straight face through all of this funny business. Four for you, Ali. We hope the producers commended you on your extreme self-control. We would have smacked those yokesters.
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