Well, it’s Fantasy Suite time! Usually, this week is pretty cut and dry: a really long daytime date is followed by another dinner during which no one eats and, for dessert, the couple receives an awkwardly-worded letter informing them that, should they decide to take their relationship to the next level, they have a room waiting for them at this fancy hotel. Usually, the female accepts in a roundabout way because she doesn’t want the entire country to know that she’s willing to sleep with a guy after spending like two weeks with him. But this week, the Fantasy Suite dates have a new twist, which presents us with a lot of questions. Here’s what we’re hoping, nay, PRAYING, gets answered this week:
1. How will Sean, the [allegedly] born-again virgin, handle the Fantasy Suite dates?
Sean basically told Chris Harrison to mind his own bidness during Sean Tells All last week, so we’re pretty much assuming that he does spend some alone time with the ladies and “talks.” We definitely think that there will be jean-jammin’ involved and possibly a little more adult behavior that they won’t show us on TV and certainly won’t imply because, hello, Sean is America’s Male Sweetheart. Basically, Sean is very comfortable being filmed while showering, while working out, while … doing all the other things that they film him doing. But Sean will not stand for implying that any nookie is going on in that Fantasy Suite! We’re interested to see how Sean handles the Fantasy Suite requests and how the producers set up the whole “spend the night together” concept.
2. Can Lindsay and Sean get past the joking and actually, you know, connect?
And no, we don’t mean connect in a Fantasy Suite kinda way. We get it, Lindsay. You have also read 50 Shades of Grey. You like to make-out and you would really like to be the drill sergeant to Sean’s cadet. But, eventually, if you’re going to marry someone, you have to be able to talk with them about legit, real life things and not just kiss them all the time. We understand that this is not always easy to do because, if we were in your position and had Sean freakin’ Lowe all to ourselves, we would kinda just want to kiss him too. But, yeah, y’all are going to have to talk at some point. We hope it’s this week, because if not, the other women will probably pass you by.
3. Will Sean and AshLee get lost in that cave?
We can almost hear the Chris Harrison voice-over: “Coming up, on the most shocking episode of The Bachelor EVER, a run-of-the-mill Bachelor date that involves Sean forcing a woman to conquer her worst fear in the name of love goes horribly wrong. Will they ever get out of the cave alive?”
Obviously — spoiler alert — they do because we follow them on Twitter and they’ve been tweeting (or have they?). But, still, we hope they get lost for at least a little, partly because it would be hilarious, but mainly because we want to see AshLee freak out.
The Hot Seat
Every week, we’ll pick one or two ladies who we think are in danger of getting sent home the following episode. Whether it’s because they’re causing tension in the mansion, had a night of drunken woopsies or just simply aren’t connecting with Sean, these ladies could find themselves in the Bachelor Burn Book Hot Seat … a place that would make even Regina George feel threatened.
AshLee, your days may be numbered. We have this sinking feeling that our girl AshLee might be going home tonight. Why, you ask? Because she probably either dies of terror in that dang cave or because she is just kind of wound too tight. She’s trying to loosen up, but we just aren’t sure she can loosen up enough for Sean. He needs someone fun-loving and joking, and AshLee just might not be those things. That’s totally fine because our fingers are crossed that she’s the next Bachelorette and that she has a plethora of manly men to choose from. Make it happen, ABC!
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