Week 7: Don’t go breaking my Hart

It’s getting difficult in Bachelor world, y’all. Hometown dates are make or break and this season was no exception. We have a lot to digest from this week’s episode, so let’s get to it.

Do you really want to tell a guy he reminds you of your dad?

It’s fine if a guy reminds you of your dad. Seriously. We aren’t judging you. But telling “this man” that you’re falling in love with that he reminds you of your dad right before he meets your dad? Not always a good idea. Sean looked a little unsure about AshLee’s declaration of his similarities with her father. Bruce was awesome, and we know AshLee meant it as a compliment but we’re not sure it was exactly what Sean wanted to hear.

Bruce is the bomb.com.

Bruce has an awesome mustache, cool spiky hair, and is obviously a great dad with tons of love for his daughter. His story about adopting AshLee made us cry … and it looked like Sean might have teared up a little bit too. It was wonderful to see Sean blend in with AshLee’s awesome family. Also, we’ve found Bruce’s Twitter account (@brucefrazier1), so if you’re interested in following the man, the myth, the mustache, well, you’re welcome.

Catherine likes the way Sean smells (and right now he smells like fish).

Catherine and Sean are pretty much adorable in every way. They laugh, they blow bubbles with their gum, they … PLAY CATCH WITH FISH?! That’s weird but then again, Catherine’s kind of weird (in a cool way, of course). She brings out this goofy side of Sean that is so nice to see. Sean always says he a jokester, but Catherine proves that it’s true.

Catherine wants to “try this out.”

Try? Marriage isn’t really something to try out. Marriages don’t always work and they’re not always perfect, but at this point, “trying it out” probably isn’t something Sean wants to hear from a potential future bride. We hope that this is just semantics, but we can also believe that free-spirited Catherine isn’t quite ready to settle down.

Lindsay worked at a bar. No one is surprised.

Really? The substitute teacher/girl in a wedding dress worked at a bar? We picture Lindsay woo-ing her way through shot after shot each night as she poured drinks to small-town patrons. We are not at all surprised that this was her former occupation. The nice part is she probably makes a mean margarita. The not-nice part is, well, she worked at a bar.

Lindsay is also the scariest general in the family.

Ashley P. wishes she was Lindsay, who is definitely taking advantage of her Army upbringing to get Sean a little … excited. They were kind of role-playing a little bit and it sure seemed like Sean didn’t mind. Sean and Lindsay have lots of fun together and have a lot of chemistry, but we’re not sold that their relationship has gone deep enough to earn Lindsay an engagement ring.

Sean’s like, “God, everyone is making me do push-ups…”

…and sitting on me. People, Sean is a person, not a rug. Catherine, you don’t need to sit on him as he does push-ups. Lindsay, you also don’t need to sit on him as he’s doing push-ups. Wouldn’t you rather sit back and enjoy the view of Sean doing push-ups than becoming part of his workout? Yeah, we thought so.

Desiree knows the world’s worst actor.

He will certainly not be winning an Emmy for his performance in Desiree’s prank. This guy was more wooden than Pinocchio and about as bad an actor as Keanu Reeves. Do they give Razzies for reality television performances? Someone needs to make this happen.

Do you mind if I holla atchu?

This is how Desiree’s brother decided to invite Sean to have a chat man-to-man. We were confused. When we hear the term “holla atchu,” we picture a guy hanging out of his car window yelling something along the lines of, “Ey! Yo mama letchu date?!” We don’t really picture a guy covered in tattoos asking another man to accompany him to the porch to have a heart-to-heart. This was probably the most explosive hometown date we’ve seen so far and Lordy, we thought for sure Sean was going to clock that guy.

Get this right.

Oh, Chris Harrison. Your fireside chats are the stuff of legend, but seriously? This is the best you can do? You probably get paid via a dump truck that deposits mounds of dollar bills in your driveway. You’ve been on this season for approximately ten minutes total. You’re probably pulling in about $5,000 per second of screen time. Could you at least put a little effort into your advice-giving? At least say something like, “Bro, it’s cool. Whoever you don’t pick, I’ll holla at them.” God, Chris. You’re such a little skeeze.

I can’t even look at you.

Poor, poor Desiree. This was heartbreaking. We have no words for this because there was nothing funny about it. We hope Sean is happy with his decision to send Des packing and we hope that Des finds a wonderful husband to spend her life with. Hopefully, that guy will get along better with her brother.

She asked me how to spell orange.

This is the place where we’ll highlight the stupidest thing said on each episode, like when Karen asked Damien how to spell orange.

We’re sure Lindsay said something stupid, so she wins.

Want more Bachelor Burn Book? Follow us on Twitter @bachelorburnbk. We live tweet during every episode and offer our insights throughout the week on all things Bachelor-related.

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