Welcome back to the Bachelor Burn Book Power Rankings!
Another episode of The Bachelor has come and gone, and week two was filled with your stereotypical Bachelor staples: helicopter rides, plunges from tall buildings, awkward makeouts and snarky comments. Nonetheless, we thoroughly enjoyed it in all its glory, especially the part when Tierra exclaimed, “I’m not here to make friends.” How original of her!
With this new episode and all of its craziness also comes a fresh set of rankings! If you’re new to Bachelor Burn Book and aren’t familiar with our power rankings, don’t fret. Here’s how it works:
Every week, we’ll tell you who we think did the best, who did the worst and who got completely lost in the shuffle on the latest episode of The Bachelor. We’ll rank (and kind of judge) the women based on their interactions with each other and with Sean. Of course, we’ll factor in how we think Sean views each of his female suitors, as well. Just think of it as if we’re seating the women at the appropriate tables in the Mean Girls cafeteria.
Last week: #3
We don’t think Gretchen Wieners’ father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased if we didn’t put Desiree at the top of our power rankings this week. He’s a big fan of hers, and it looks like Sean is too. Desiree totally nailed it on her one-on-one date with Sean, and we think her future on The Bachelor is bright … well, until her ex-boyfriend storms the mansion to win her back. But putting that aside, Desiree handled Sean’s super awesome prank really well, and the two just seemed extremely comfortable spending time together, especially during that sultry hot tub scene. We’re becoming increasingly optimistic about Desiree’s chances this season.
2. Lesley M.
Last week: #4
Lesley was makin’ moves this week! Her photo shoot with Sean was filled with all kinds of sexual tension and a rather intimate kiss that left all the other women looking on hatefully. Lesley did falter a bit later on, however, when she missed multiple chances to makeout with Sean and then subsequently tracked him down, only to force a somewhat awkward and unnatural kiss. But we digress. Slightly awkward moments are to be expected early on in this show, and we don’t think Lesley has anything to worry about. Sean is totally into her, and we wouldn’t be surprised if she makes it to the finale.
Last week: #7
Sarah is certainly one of the most genuine women on the show, and we loved her one-on-one date with Sean! Of course, there was a cliché helicopter ride involved, but that aside, Sarah and Sean really seemed to enjoy their time together. Our prediction? Sarah will stick around for a while, but we don’t see her sustaining a strong, long-term connection with Sean. In the end, her relationship with Sean will hit a ceiling, and her competition will, unfortunately, pass her up. In the meantime though, she stays and captures the third spot in our rankings.
Last week: #1
Oh, Tierra. What can we say about Tierra? Well, for one, she’s already tumbling down the Bachelor Burn Book Power Rankings, kind of like how she’ll be tumbling down the stairs at The Bachelor mansion in next week’s episode. Tierra is already making a name for herself … and not in a good way. She’s causing problems with the other girls, pouting, whining and whipping out every overused line we hear a million times per season. Yes, Tierra, we know you’re not there to make friends. Neither was Courtney Robertson. Or that other girl. Or the other one. And that one too. You get the point. For now, she remains in our top five but only because she started out the show on top. Sean is beginning to take notice of Tierra’s immaturity, and we think he’s smart enough to realize he’s got better options to choose from.
Last week: #2
We didn’t hear much from AshLee this week, but we’re not too worried about it. Despite the lack of attention she received, AshLee was still the first to get a rose at the rose ceremony, showing that Sean is attracted to her and wants to get to know her better. We expect to see a lot more of AshLee in the coming weeks, but in the interim, we’re sure she was perfectly happy hanging out at the mansion for a few days. She probably got a chance to organize her closet and everyone else’s too.
6. Kacie B.
Last week: #6
Despite the fact that Kacie B. got a rose this week, she remains sixth in our rankings. We were slightly concerned by the conversation she had with Sean, mainly because we aren’t entirely convinced she can make it out of the friend zone. Sure, Sean came across as optimistic about exploring a relationship with Kacie, but in the same breath, he also seemed very hesitant when answering her questions. Did Kacie get a rose? Yes. But we’re inclined to believe this was purely because of Sean’s curiosity and willingness to see where the relationship could go. We really like Kacie B., but based on Sean’s initial reactions, we don’t think her future with him is promising.
Oh and btdubs, we know we don’t need to add the “B.” after Kacie’s name anymore, but we’re going to anyway. She was Kacie B. on Ben’s season, so Kacie B. she shall remain.
Last week: #9
Lindsay made a crucial, much-needed recovery this week. Most women wouldn’t have survived the wedding dress mess that Lindsay put herself in, but alas, she has defied the odds. Lindsay somehow managed to emerge from the first cocktail party essentially unscathed, which signals to us that Sean really sees something in her. Thanks to Sean’s easy-going and forgiving nature, we think these two have a real shot. Lindsay had a great conversation with Sean during this week’s cocktail party, which allowed us to see her a) sober and b) as a really sweet girl who’s down-to-earth and ready to fall in love. We anticipate a successful one-on-one date involving Sean and Lindsay in the near future, so stay tuned.
Last week: #10
Robyn really impressed us this week when she boldly approached Sean and addressed the issue of diversity on the show. ABC isn’t exactly known for having a “melting pot” of contestants, but this season’s group has certainly been more diverse. Robyn, being African American, so astutely noticed this and essentially asked Sean if she has a legitimate shot to win or is simply there to meet a quota. Sean, being the honest guy he is, assured her he does, in fact, date women of color. Sean and Kevin G. from Mean Girls would probably get along so well!
Last week: #5
Catherine, where you at gurl? We missed your strange, yet somewhat amusing, commentary! Catherine was largely absent from this week’s episode, which makes us think she might start to get lost in the shuffle. She still has plenty of time to begin forming a connection with Sean, but we’re going to have to see more of Catherine and her personality in order to consider her a serious contender.
Last week: #11
Selma is quickly becoming one of our favorites this season. Her language lesson with Sean was adorbs, and she seems to have a great personality that would complement Sean’s really well. Not to mention, she’s easily one of the prettiest women in the house. As long as she keeps getting time with Sean, we could see Selma quietly work her way into the top 10.
Last week: #17
Kristy is getting on our last nerve, and it’s only week two. Did she do awesome during the photo shoot? Yes. Was she also totally obnoxious during the photo shoot? Yes. It seems like Kristy is constantly flapping her gums but very seldom does she actually mention Sean or a potential relationship with him. This may be a bit bold, but Kristy gives us the impression that she came on the show for the exposure. But she would never admit to that. That’s why her hair is so big … it’s full of secrets.
Last week: #8
We don’t have much to say about Jackie, except that she’s been a snoozefest. So far, she’s just your average, middle-of-the-pack contestant. That’s not to say we don’t like Jackie. We do. She just needs to start standing out in the crowd before she’s no longer a part of it.
Last week: #12
Well, Amanda has certainly gone off the rails a bit. Amanda became the hot topic during this week’s rose ceremony when she randomly decided she no longer wanted to interact with the other women and would prefer to strangely stare at them instead. It’s certainly possible she was just having a bad day or was a little nervous for the rose ceremony, but seriously, that was some creepy sh*t she pulled. Did you see how she slowly craned her neck and stared at Desiree when she tried to make conversation? How bizarre. Amanda can’t stick around that much longer, right?
Last week: #19
Daniella isn’t gaining much ground in our Power Rankings, but boy, she is quickly moving up on the unintentional comedy scale. There is no way Daniella isn’t drunk 100% of the time. Her glassy eyes, slurred words and debate with Lesley over Greek mythology create the perfect recipe for a good laugh at her expense, but unfortunately, that’s about all her antics are good for.
Last week: #15
The good news for Taryn? She didn’t drunk cry this week. The bad news for Taryn? She didn’t talk this week. Two rose ceremonies have already passed, and Taryn hasn’t yet managed to stand out or make a name for herself. In fact, Sean even told Jimmy Kimmel in a recent interview that he got Taryn confused with Diana one night! It ain’t hard to figure out the ending to this story. Sean just sent Diana home, which means Taryn will be following close behind.
16. Leslie H.
Last week: #18
Leslie’s days on the show are numbered. While she’s probably a very sweet girl, she doesn’t appear to have that “something” that appeals to Sean. She’s skating by for the time being, but we don’t expect that to last much longer.
Katie, we will truly miss you and your hair. Well, not really.
Goodbye, African Princess. We hardly knew you … or heard you talk for that matter.
See, we tried to tell you all last week. However unfair it may be, a divorcee with two kids usually doesn’t stand a chance on this show. Nonetheless, we wish Diana the best of luck.
See you all next week!
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